Saturday, August 8, 2009

Hard to bear, but not hard to understand

It is now 40 days since Yren's production date, and my doll has not come home. Moreover, someone whose production date was four weeks after mine has just heard that her doll is nearly finished.

Okay, I admit it: my first reaction was "Waah! Marina hates me!" But I'm recovering from that now, sitting up and taking nourishment again, and seeing things more calmly.

The waiting is hard to bear, but not hard to understand. Marina is not a production-toymaker, she's an artist. I do long for Yren to be ready soon, but waiting is just part of the reality of acquiring a work of art vs a factory doll.

As for why a doll from farther on in the production schedule is done ahead of mine...Well, I have two theories and not a thing better to do than write about them.

Theory A: The Tattoo Technique. The new doll was to have a tattoo, which is a very challenging technique with sensational results. It is entirely reasonable if Marina wanted to work on her immediately after doing several other tattooed dolls. She has written about her excitement over this technique in her blog--maybe she was just on a roll. Or there might be other reasons unguessable by me why this doll fits in better with Marina's current work schedule than mine.

Theory B: The Exceeding Beauty of Yren. This one's my favorite: Possibly Yren is already done, but she has emerged from the kiln and sprung into being with such a fresh new variety of beauty, not quite like any Marina has produced before, that she wishes not to be parted from her for a time.

Now this is not only understandable, it is maybe even essential. Would not an artist who has just created something entirely new in the world need a time of communing with that work, so that she can fully grasp and hold and own it? Wouldn't her growth as an artist be diminished in some way if her new-born works were torn from her hands as soon as the last lock of hair was smoothed into place?

If this is the case, I am willing that Marina should have taken a little time to establish a relationship with her creation before she releases her to me and goes on to her next vision. I hope she is about at the end of that process, though, because I can hardly stand to be inside my skin these days!

Or it may be the case that Theory B is romantic nonsense and bears no relation to reality anyway. But as long as it makes me feel better I'll make up my mind that way.


aneemal said...

I like to think that Marina knows how much you had your heart set on a tanned Yren to being with, but also that you've become attached to the new white skinned beauty... so she's secretly taken delivery of the tan slip and is making you both Yrens - so that you can see the two incarnations and choose from them... or maybe give you both... i know, i know, but it's nice to dream :)

Paiva said...

Ooo, I love that idea! Thank you, Aneemal! If she were making a tan Yren too, I'd quick sell my furniture to buy them both--no question. And then I'd sell whatever was left to buy them silver shoes...

monika viktoria said...

Unfortunately i know well the feeling of not being able to part with a new artwork. Just tonight I finished what I thought was the final image for my exhibition, then realised I can't possible sell it, I'd rather pay to keep it! So it's a terrible pain, and I'm sorry if Marina's going through it twice fold with both our girls.

I guess that's the benefit of purchasing through a gallery (like angelificatu did with Elena) you pay a lot more, but, you get the artwork the moment the show's down and you've paid it off.

I still like my idea that they've run off into the woods and Chad's chasing them with a butterfly net :-P

annina said...

i just found your blog and have added a bookmark to it!
aww Ruth i did think it must be hard for you when another person's doll is made before yours. i actually also had a theory about it, keeping in mind that Marina has a kiln that fits 2 dolls. maybe she has to account to porcelain colours so if there is one tan/peach/pink doll to be made earlier in the waiting line it has to be fired together with another of it's colour, and if there is a doll of the same colour later in the line she will make them together, skipping one or several dolls in between that.

i also like Amal's theory... :D

oh and Monika's, haha!

crossing my fingers for you that you soon hear from Marina!

Anonymous said...

Oh Ruth, I really do feel for you, it must be so hard to wait when it's so close. But the good news is, when you DO get her it will be so worth it and so amazing. And see, you've been very productive during this time of waiting, gathering ideas and making things for her. I'm sure Yren will be very grateful when she finally arrives.

And I mean, you HAVE to get her sometime soon, after all you've already paid for her. I'm sure Marina is just working on some last details or fixing something, and you know how she multi-tasks, she's probably just working on the other doll at the same time!!

-- Kimmikat